Nandita's PhotoBlog

How do you know she likes you the best?

2011-11-23T08:16:00.000-08:00

She comes bounding over when you open the door to her room and settles herself between your feet.
When you lie down on the ground next to her she licks your nose and nudges your hands expecting to be petted.
After she has had her food she leaps over to your lap and sits quietly with her ears flat against her body. She refuses to get down after that.
She allows only you to pick her up.
She feels safe in your lap even when violent sounds are coming from the T.V set.
She looks at you with those dark round eyes like she is saving an image of you in her mind.

She loves me all right,my bunny Luna :)

Musings

2011-10-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

When they say a women's mind is always thinking about something, they are wrong, very wrong. My mind is absolutely blank, nothing, nada! But I was thinking about a few things earlier today ;)
:

> Why do we give words SO much power? 'I love you' & 'don't bother me' drive us crazy, a 'thank you' goes a long way and a simple 'it's going to fine' gives us solace. What an enormous range , not to mention intensity of emotions! Why grant something that almost everyone utters without a second thought so much power to alter our feelings? And quite frankly, so much of our emotional tumult and mood swings are because we feel betrayed by words that promised so much or because the words din't imprint strongly enough for our memory to relish it for long.
Solution? Express through your face and body language a lot folks! A smile, a thumbs up, a shrug, a wink imprints on the mind so much better and also, a fake one of these is very easily detectable , unlike 'words', silly words.

> Why is it so fancy to look down upon 'wannabes'? Maybe it's a phase with them, maybe all the attention you hog drives them nuts, maybe they are depressed misfits, and even if they are none of these and just aspire to be 'cool' so what? SO BLOODY WHAT?!You are just another wannabe who thinks looking down on a wannabe will hopefully make you cool. Nut.

> Hate the sin and not the sinner? Which should also mean, love the good deed and not the do-er? Strange quote.

>I am now totally convinced of this: When you're happy, those sixty odd muscles in your face do what they love to do, make you look darn awesome that is. I kid you not! That's your Patronus against feeling blue about your looks :)

>Knowledge comes pretty close to giving you a high sometimes. But there is too much of it, TOO much. I know that doesn't mean I give up and not add another minuscule drop to my depressingly minuscule drop. Bleh.

That's all for now folks! :) I'm writing after such a long time, yay!

Hanami ;)

2011-08-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

Love cherry blossoms!

30 days challenge!

2011-08-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

This is not very new, but I've never tried it! So, starting today, I'm taking up the 30-days challenge as advised by Matt Cutts and painting everyday for the next 30 days.I Will post the paintings here and if they are all turn out ugly, who cares right? :)

Leading lines

2011-08-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

It is said that "of those who say nothing, few are silent" .This photograph is silent, obviously, but speaks volumes to me.

Images like these instinctively appeal to people and is explained as the concept of 'leading lines'. It draws the viewer's eyes to some distant point by leading them through lines in the image, the curving road and the overhead lights in this case. It is powerful because, not only does it compel you to look, but also, to think.

Every viewer follows these lines and conjures an image of what lies beyond . And according to the different lives we've lead & the different persons we are, they are all different. Some imagine the road to lead up to a wider road with blue sky & bright sun above and others a road with a lush green forests on both sides. For me, I imagine snow capped mountains on the horizon and greenery of all hues everywhere, till as far as I can see.And the sun is behind the clouds.

Note- I'm having a bad day so I haven't posted a more lively leading lines photo. But since the leading lines is definitely more prominent than the I'm-having-a-bad-day grey & black theme I decided to go ahead. Apologies.

You need to be alone here.

2011-07-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know about others but this picture evokes in me a desire to be alone, quite alone. There are two kinds of sensations a beautiful place( a photo in this case) arouses. The first, where you would like a person to walk side by side and the share the moment with you.The second where the beauty overwhelms you. You are grateful for every pleasure and goodness you've felt and seen.. and your body tingles with joie de vivre!
You want to be alone when this warm tingling surge builds up and later, when you sigh it out. It's an experience quite unparalleled by any other and for every human to feel all by himself, all for himself.

What is noteworthy is that the horizon looks misty, cold and rather forlorn. But the blurred grass close to the lens is asking you to put one foot, and then the other because good weather will follow you :)

I know I sound hopelessly optimistic/romantic, I'm neither. Just a nature lover. I heart nature ;)

Profusion of color

2011-07-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

This kind of a picture appeals to most people.I love it too! All my favorite pastel shades are here and the combination is a massage to the eye and the mind alike. There is nothing I would change in this photo, but I wistfully long to be in it, sitting among the rocks. I've let my imagination go on what the weather is like here. It's not warm, but the heat from the day is yet to fade away completely and a cool breeze is drifting in, slowly but resolutely from yonder. And might I add that the pink flowers that lend this photo a breathtaking beauty is just why evolution is too simple an explanation.

PS: For a painter, I can only imagine the delight in painting the thin dark green strokes for the conifers in the end! :)

Renaming the blog

2011-07-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

I've lost all interest in writing. So, instead of writing (much), I'm going to try and post photos here regularly.
Thus, I'm renaming the blog, Nandita's photo blog.

When every temperament gets a name...

2011-04-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

And you feel there are plenty out there just as screwed up as you are ;)

Here is an interesting list of cognitive distortions I read on this site.I'm Ctrl+C and Ctrl+Ving a few very common ones here.

1.Polarized Thinking: The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you're a failure.

2. Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. 'Always' and 'never' are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.

3. Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don't watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.

4. Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start "what if's." What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.

5. Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who's smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment's relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.

6.Heaven's Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You fell bitter when the reward doesn't come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the 'right thing,' if your heart really isn't in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.

I can relate to 'Personalization' the most.Now that it has been labeled and pinpointed clearly do you think it will help me? I hope so, but I doubt it.

Hanami and Flying Lanterns!

2011-04-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

Earlier, I loved drawing all my curtains close, stacking up my pillows and lying back to read a novel with food within my arm's reach.Though I did go out and have fun, I preferred staying at home. But, I think I have changed a lot since then and I can't wait to get out and travel to a few places(when the opportunity presents itself ;) ).This one and the next few posts are going to contain some of the places I'd like to go to, things I'd like to experience and some traditions I think are beautiful.

I'll start with Hanami : It is Japanese traditional custom of enjoying the beauty of flowers (Wiki). Flowers here is synonymous with Cherry Blossoms(Sakura), as you can see :)

So, if one goes to Japan, say anytime between the beginning of April to the beginning of May( subject to change), he/she won't want to miss a Hanami, don't you think? I definitely think so. I saw it first in 'Memoirs of a Geisha' and have ever since been craving to enjoy it first hand, who wouldn't?! I think I'll spread a rug underneath one of the trees and spend the entire day gazing and taking pictures.B.L.I.S.S.

Note- There is one variety that yields cherry fruit and the other,cherry blossoms.

Lantern Festival : Imagine hundreds of lit up lanterns floating up in the air against a dark sky, and you have sight more amazing than stars in the night, even seen through a telescope! There are many stories around this tradition and I chose the one I like the best. People write their deepest wishes on these lanterns and release them into the air hoping that these lanterns carry them up to their God and they get fulfilled. It is held on the 15th day of the first lunar month according to the Chinese.

Would love to see it!

Here is a video too :)

More later !

Crafts and more.

2011-04-21T01:17:00.000-07:00

Tada!
This is a kind of crown, so it goes on the head and not around the neck :P It took my two hours and I love how it has turned out ! :)
Its easy-cheesy and if you're the kind who likes to churn out something beautiful without having to shop for red paper and stuff, just use discarded newspapers! How to make it : I picked up the instructions from this site : http://talkcraftytome.com/2009/03/06/paper-flowers/

Important tip - when you cut and reach the center, leave the circle be. That is going to be the bottom of the rose. You need to add glue to this circle's center to hold all the folds together.
After the roses are done, around a big circle of wire(the size of your head) tie 15-16 short strips of wire(depending on the number of roses) in such a way that they poke out and make stems for the roses.And you are done!

Oh I almost forgot! I found a good online photo editing software called 'FotoFlexer'
http://fotoflexer.com/app/index.php?integration=upload
Do NOT miss 'Smart recolor' and 'curves' under the 'Geek' section, it is super cool! :)
Have fun!

At last

2011-03-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to write for a very long time and here I am at last! :)

What have I been up to?
Many nice and exciting things actually and I'm going to list them down here, take your pick and see how much fun it can be for you.
1. Origami! This is a 'kusudama' which the Japanese (God bless them, poor souls) made a long time back with herbs and hung it around sick people for speedy recovery. My mum fell ill and look what her daughter made for her!No herbs, but she got well in no time FYI :).An awesome tutorial on how to make it is available on Youtube and it looks beautiful if you use color sheets.Tip- do not make it in a single day, requires 36 basic units. But if you have the patience and time, what the heck! :).Surprise- No need for scissors,or glue or cello tape, nothing! just paper :)

2. Shopping! Girls are awesome fun and bond best while shopping by the way. I shopped for jeans with my friends and I had no idea six hours could fly away that fast!Anyway, if you're planning on buying jeans, keep in mind that a good fitting jeans is sold by not JUST costly brands and they are not rare, like before, so try pantaloons or M&S before you hit a Levis or Pepe store, you might find a better fit for half the price!

3. Keeping a diary: It's not a regular diary! I do not make daily entries about how my day went and I never understood how people managed that! My diary has 7 lists and I update them regularly.Things to do, Things I want, Gift ideas(for family and friends, I'm going to be earning soon,yeah baby!), Watch/read/listen (recommendations), BHAGs ( big hairy audacious goals, includes buying an island :D ), bucket list (duh!) and Ideas ( everyone wants an 'I'm feeling lucky' button for Youtube don't they? )

4. Reading: Language of God by Francis Collins. The author is a scientist who was an atheist, and explains what made him convert into a believer.For a believer, it is an extremely comforting read obviously, and for non-believers, I suggest you prepare your self to step out of you're comfort zones.

5.Cooking : I made grilled cheese sandwich , not a big deal but it was yummy!

6. Photography: No, I am not clicking pictures but I have been reading up a lot about it. For example, this slightly blurred effect is called 'Bokeh' , would love to try it sometime!

and this is the result of Long exposure photography- ( wikipedia - using a long-duration shutter speed to sharply capture the stationary elements of images while blurring, smearing, or obscuring its moving elements.)

Sigh, someday I will buy a camera and click all day!

That is all for now!
Carpe Diem

One month!

2011-01-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

One month its going to be all sadness and I will want to do the following:

1.Treat my phone cruelly.That is, to avoid sad reflections play it in the shower allowing steam to get into it and then frying it over the stove and when it doesn't function hit it against the wall.
2.Cry! I haven't cried in a long time mostly because it gives me a headache but one whole month of sadness is going to tempt me.

3.Not pick up my friend's calls or reply to their messages.

4.Delete this blog.Delete buttons in my head don't work, cyber world's and Nokia's do, a fact that must and will be exploited.
5.Remember everything that is wrong with me and feel jealous of people who are every thing I'm not and have everything I don't.
6.Pass highly unproductive days.
7.Stuff myself with chocolates.This is definitely going to happen and to add to my sorrows will promptly add 2 kilos to my weight with every bag of Hersheys kisses in my fridge right now.
8.Judge every one.This is generally partially absent in sunny moods but sadness brings out the devil I suppose.

Anyway, tell me in this one month its all okay or everything is going to be fine and utter a peep about gaining 'perspective' and I will slap you.How ever, if in ways other than the ones mentioned any one gives me a reason not to do any of the above then they will be likened to Mr.Penruthlan, a fictional character(Enid Blyton) that represents everything that is nice, calm and happy for me, an angel in short :)

Diem the Carpe, or rather just let it be.

ps: Is it just me or has winter planned on freezing us all to death?!

:)

2010-06-05T06:14:00.002-07:00

Something I read on Corrine's blog!
love this poem!Read it slowly and let it sink in.

Lord, help me to grow as the wildflowers grow
be it a meadow or a crack in cement.
Despite the terrain, be it good or bad,
let me know I am there by intent.

Instead of my sadly complaining within
regarding life's rough terrain,
May my face, too, look upward to you
through seasons of drought and rain.

Help me to bloom as the wildflowers bloom,
regardless of where I am placed;
wherever the spot You plant me, Lord,
let the air there be sweet with Your grace.

Someday a tired pilgrim may stop to rest
from carrying his heavy load
And thank my Creator for placing me there
to brighten that spot in life's road.
~ Kitty Chappell

Carpe Diem

This is my first romance

2010-03-09T06:59:00.001-08:00

Languages are so amazing,even the most guttural sounding languages fascinate me and I would just love to learn them all!Thats on my to do list.For now I would like to learn French to be able to sing this :

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!"

Ciao

Every body is changing.

2010-02-19T11:21:00.000-08:00

'Leopards don't change their spots' is true only to a certain extent, and the extent I'm talking about is so miniscule that leopards will start dyeing their hides pretty soon.
Who says people don't change? A lazy person can turn into a diligent hardworking person, a cribber can turn grateful, a pessimist into an optimist and a devil into a saint.However,a moment of elevated happiness or a rude shock is where it all begins. Paint me the scariest and unholy picture with an exaggerated consequence of my vice and then make it seem real to me, I will change!(after I kill you)Or, get loads and loads of hope that can make happiness seem tangible and not far away then I'll do what I humanly can! I’ll change if that’s what it takes.
Every one has had their fair share of the both and you have all changed(I'm happy to inform you that its more often than not for the better, so don't resist).I know for sure that they've changed me but maybe for thick headed people like me only rude shocks penetrate and toss in a pearl of wisdom, so God hands out more of them to me than the other.So,if you're thick headed too, now you know why you keep getting rude shocks :D

But sometimes unexplainable things happen too, and they alter a human in ways that I cannot speak or understand, I can only sympathize or curse the guilty and I don't know what they need. I can only hazard a guess. They need small little things and I've realised, it’s only the little things that make earth seem like heaven at times. Little gestures of love, kindness, sympathy....and a little shining lamp...

Anyway,so long!Time to hit the sack.
For people who just dont want to read paragraphs of utter random nonsense,here you go:For the lack of words.. :)
But I warn you beforehand,I suck at drawing,but I don't like other people telling me that :P
Good Night :)

I am !I do.

2010-02-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

You have no idea how much you've missed out on when you heard some one saying "it isn't that great","its all hokey pokey" etc and took them for their word.Next time you hear some one say that,erase it from your mind or picture them going mute for those brief 3 seconds and go see for yourself.Please.

"You get what you want"-I dint think so.I DO now.What's stopping me from getting what I want? Me.Me can be handled.
Anyway,let me get to the point.I read 'The Secret'.Its recommended for every one who has a reason to complain!That just about covers everyone :)
I'm going to take everyone in my family and all my friends by their hand and make them read the book,and if I could do so with my readers,I would!At the end of the day,you can rubbish what ever is in the book 'cause you're wary,you're cynical and that part of you might be adamant and inclined to fight back the 'extraordinary' theory,but even if you do,follow a few things they recommend 'cause you want to be happy,you know that!the book tells you how.
Here is a sampler.

Ask your self how you feel right now.Take a moment.

Worried/angry/envious/regretful/depressed/filled with hate/irritated or perhaps a combination of these?

Now,is there Anything or Anyone who makes you feel utterly alive and jolly happy?A dog perhaps,or food,or some one,or maybe an event that has happened or one that you're fantasizing?Think it right now.Mix up a few things and make it brighter!(I love dogs and beaches at dawn,and maroonish black silk dresses,so I'm with a Labrador close at my heels,in a silk dress near the shore and my hair is long and flying of course :P)If the joy you feel makes you want to sing,sing!Happiness is your birthright.

Ask what you want.Not in such ways:"I don't want to be late"
"I don't want to lose my faith"
"I don't want to get fired"
"I don't want to lose my friend"
Let's say who ever you're asking doesn't understand or process words of negation(which is the case FYI).So basically you're saying you want to be late,lose you're faith and not only get fired but lose you're friends too.You're Genie is basically going to piss you off .Big time.Ask it properly.You want "_____" and be clear about it.

Now,here is the tricky part.
Imagine you have it already.You have what you want!feel the same way you'll feel when you get it,the same exultation and immense happiness.
Guess what you're doing?
Since you've already put a tick against what ever you wanted and have already received just what you asked for,the Universe will shift into action to make that tick valid and true.You don't have to think up ways for it,it will move what is to be moved and deliver what is to be delivered how ever impossible it may seem to you,and bring it to your doorstep.It is that simple.

Try it today.Read the book first though :)
Focus on a cup of coffee.Ask for it and receive.I too is going to put the book to test tomorrow.I'll draw of pic me in a pair of yellow pants with a cat at my feet near traffic if the book fails :)

Carpe Diem.

Avatar

2010-02-05T11:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, I’m going to try and write my first movie review. But first things first, everyone who dint like the movie may please dig a well and jump into it and make sure it has big crocs in it too, or piranhas, depending on whether you'd like to be swallowed in one whole and or in pieces. Am I being too harsh here or was the movie so totally brilliant?
I had expectations, I heard reviews, I read reviews and I knew the plot, but every review left out small titbits and they were what made the three hours’ worth my while!
Allow me a wee bit gagaing over the animation will ya? The excellence is beyond anything I can describe! Everything sure as heaven looked real! How they managed to make Pandora look completely inhabited by creatures of a million kinds and yet unmessy and a kiss between creatures of a race completely alien looking NOT creepy is beyond me! The guys responsible for it should wear crowns and be treated as royalty!
However, the animation only complimented the story! The story line is bewitchingly fabulous and though the plot is not broad enough to supply for sequels, it can give Harry Potter and the likes a run for their money. Behold the Na'vis!
What titbits am I talking about?
1. You remember times when you wanted your own daemon don’t you? But 'The Golden compass' was just the beginning! The concept is a little different, but you get to have a binding bond with a creature just as easily in Avatar! In simple words, the hippogriff chooses you,and there after its yours and yours only,and will gallop or fly at your will!:)
2. Like every clan, they have their deity they worship and their philosophy that guides them, wholly mesmerising and enchanting! And add in a good old tale with ancestors who did extraordinary things and people whose land and family claimed all their pride and love.
I can list twenty more, but they reflect on what I like and want from movies, you know yours and trust me it’s all in there!
All in all, go watch the movie if you haven't yet, and if you're disappointed swear off good movies :D

Close your eyes and miss me :)

2010-02-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

Chocolates are something I simply cannot live without!I should just get married to Dairy milk or Five star I swear to God!:) Sigh..........feel the bliss?

Kiss me,close your eyes and miss me
Close your eyes and kiss me
I can read your lips on your finger tips
and happiness in your eyes
Kiss me,close your eyes and miss me....

You know you need one tight slap when...

2010-01-30T23:26:00.000-08:00

1.You think you can fit your car through anything.
2.You want something you dint want earlier.
3.You say you dont care for everything under the sun.
4.You want to control everything and everyone.
5.You ask stupid questions and irritate already irritated people.
6.You get irritated by stupid questions.
7.You label everything stupid when you're irritated.
8.You make a private blog just to rejoice morbidly in all the non-existent secrets only you can read.
9.You make promises you know cant/wont keep.
10.You sleep to run away from reality.
11.You're itching for a fight.
12.When you yearn for someone to let you down just so that you can give them a hard time.Oh yeah,one tight slap can do wonders!

More parts to follow.
Cheers !

Commencement of beautification.

2010-01-25T03:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know who reads my blog,but for future me I'd like to make coming back to this page a wonderful experience.So from today onwards I'm going to beautify this blog with a lot of stuff!
Keep a watch out!
Oh,here is a picture that I absolutely adore.

Yours browsing and typing excitedly!
PS:I am not a good cartoonist.But like it or lump it I'm going to draw.period.

Daddy long legs

2010-01-23T22:50:00.000-08:00

I loved the book and can read it any number of times!
Anyway,I have a treat for people who loved it too :)
The book has been made into an anime!(long back actually).It moves a little slowly,but awesome fun neverthless!Its in Japanese(very beautiful language to listen to) with english subtitles and you'll find it here: www.veoh.com
(type Daddy long legs).40 totally amazing episodes!
Have fun!

Gibberish part 2:Confused

2010-01-23T07:31:00.001-08:00

Introspection ahead.
I don't know if I'm a good person.The lines and boundaries I previously defined have all merged and are very far away.I am very conscious of the fact that some things that I accept and do now would have definitely be shunned as highly immoral by the same me a few years back.Is that a good thing?I don't know.
Some years back I also had the tendency to judge a lot. I categorized people as bad if they committed a 'bad' mistake,bad enough to stop me from becoming friends with them.I don't call them bad anymore,I call them human,but is that good?Yes,the judgmental me has gone forever and I don't find too many people bad now,I am friends with many,but yet ....I'm unsure of whether all my relationships are morally sound.I sound like I'm the good person scared of bad influence!sound ridiculous in other words,people at the same time must question if I am a good person to be friends with.They should,and I'm sure they do.I am so confused!
Every one wants to be a good person,including me and also,neither do I want to be so concerned about being good that I don't live life the way I want to.Balancing is proving so tough.
I have lived 20 years of my life recklessly I feel,though every good principle and moral has been taught to me,I have not applied them anywhere.I have been good when I felt the whim to be so,and bad out of frustration.I don't know how to explain it,but I have desperately wanted to say"I have been bad,I have done bad,I have said bad things,because I want you to suffer for my faults".Despising myself is agony,so I despise others.
I am so confused!!!!!!!!!
I am rethinking everything,and the ground upon which I walk is crumbling.I don't need to be saved,I will save myself,I just need time to think.
I just don't want to become a cynic,I don't want my optimism to die and I don't want me to ever think bad of anyone,not even me.I guess everyone goes through this ground-shaking introspection,does how you come out of it define the kind of person you'll be?

Yours in deep thought
nandu

Bubble.

2010-01-06T03:47:00.000-08:00

My 7 year old cousin loves the idea of having one room all to himself in every household he visits.He expects people to pay toll when ever they use his room or the washroom attached to it and people do,out of love and of course pampering him is fun and satisfying.Only,yesterday,I was in his room and with a paper to give this morning locked myself inside and it was decided that no one would knock the door unless it was for food or an emergency.But my cousin knocked and upon being forbidden to disturb me went away a little distracted and perturbed and there was a slight tone in his voice that I cannot describe.
Just there,I felt like I was the reason for his childhood bubble to shrink in size a little.To be the reason for such a thing and to expose anyone to what is generally sadistically referred to as 'reality' is one of the last things in my list 'cause after every dissapointment I've dealt with,I've always regretted that I'm having to grow up,I'm having to adjust,to settle down to a reality where all that I hoped for in the world and in people was actually all very far fatched.I dont want him to grow up,in other words,deal with any upsets or dissapointments.
Oh but yeah,I've become a part of the big bad world now,I'm capable of inflicting negative and hurtful stuff on people and when the same is inflicted on me,hurt me though it does,I have lost any trust I've ever had on me after this realisation and think me capable of almost every sin in the world,so empathy to the trespasser comes easily,who am I to judge anyway?
Though I sometimes am thankful for the changes in me,they are few and far in between.
Anyway,life is all a balance of caring,not caring,and caring too much I've realised and no emotion is good in abundance.
Inconclusive post.

Yappy new year!!

2010-01-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

When ever I need a fresh perspective on something and when I know I need to stop taking people and my circumstances too seriously I go to Youtube and type 'funny dogs',now this video I would not have generally come across,but am I glad I did!
If you don't laugh,you know your resolution this year :P

Let this year be different from the all the ones we've put behind,let this be a milestone of an year,make choices responsibly and love recklessly!

A happy new year to everyone!

Publishing Drafts

2009-11-29T09:25:00.000-08:00

I hate coming to my blog and seeing the same post over and over again and that too with zero comments.I don't feel like writing anything so I'm shedding a tiny portion of my inhibitions today and publishing some of my posts that never got published 'cause I abandoned them ,deeming them either unworthy or too personal to continue or publish.
Me unedited:

Draft one:I don't know who they are.
When I imagine their state of mind as they are typing out the words I read,their joy,anguish,pain,restlessness and a whole myriad of lilliputians of epiphanies they burst forth with as they as they type,knowing that their words will be before eyes,people's eyes that will be taught to see what they saw,to feel what they have felt or just chuckle along,I feel a sisterhood,a brotherhood,a pang that brings me comfort,for it is universal,its shared.
I wonder if they'll laugh at my jokes,if sarcasm is their way,if they'll think my friend is like ross/chandler,if they share my love for dogs and hugs,places and chocolates,and if they'll be merry night chatters,or if I'll have sighful comfortable silence with them,or if they'll sing along and their hearts will swell with contentedness and happiness at the thought of food and bed.

Draft 2:Sorry Anshul,too good to pass up.
All the best things in the world are either illegal,fattening or committed to someone
Chemical reactions are reversible!It seemed incredulous to me when I first studied them,but they happen,and its obvious now,but why can't every good thing be reversible too?

Draft 3:I am incapable of writing under a single topic so, forgive the unrelated paragraphs:
I am thinking about Miracles.Heard a brilliant story today.Everyone has heard about the sermon on the mount and about how Jesus passed fish and loafs of bread around, post that,and they never got over.The plate was passed from one hand to the other ,but there was plenty to go around for the hundreds left and the plate kept getting replenished,somewhat like plates in Hogwarts.But here is the story-When Jesus passed the plate to the first person,that person had a piece of meat hidden in his pocket,he placed it on the plate while pretending to pick up something and passed it on to the next guy.The plate passed through thousands of hands and finally reached Jesus,completing a full circle.He saw the loafs and fish untouched :).A penny for your thoughts...

Draft 4:Grey clouds are rumbling above and I just hope the winds don't drive them away.But its not perfect.Had there been howling and spitting winds,swaying trees,flying leaves and lift-you-off-your-feet gust I would've been insanely happy.Infact if there was a tornado around,I would've been chasing it.And the rain,if you can call it one, I'm very certain will stop before my dash get wet,so what is the point of going out?Its depressing.What wouldn't I give for a good downpour?!Any way,I've always wondered if people's choice of weather hinted at the kind of person they are

Draft 5:The people that are the hardest to love are the ones that need it the most.Think of all

Draft 6:I'm squirmishly uncomfortable when somethings are said out aloud.Take for example when people are in company

Draft 6:It's time to eat?You feel empty,you think its an empty stomach,subsequentially you stuff food in an attempt to feel less empty.That is my explanation of why people tend to put on weight in depression-you feel empty.
I'm so bored,can't believe I'm this bored

Post birthday blues.

2009-11-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

There is never a moment from the time I open my eyes in the wee hours of the morning to the time I sleep,when my brain stops thinking!It is like a massive whirlpool of thoughts and images and I wish I could stop it,pull out a plug some where and let everything get sucked into nothingness!If not that ,and if nothing else, I wish there were thought bubbles coming out of my head and vapourising into the the sky so that they dint stay in and mess with me and my sanity.
I'm tired of thinking!
Thought1-Every one has moments that betray their secret worries or unhappiness,a slight glassy stare in no particular direction,a sudden dip in the corners of the mouth,a soft shrug and all in a few seconds and in between laughter and outer display of happiness and carefreeness.The look scares me and makes me want to give something or do something and wipe it away and replace it with happiness that never lets the sparkle in the eyes die or fade.But nothing is in my hands!They have to fight their own demons and tread their own rough path and find the pasture they deserve.But why don't I have the power?
Thought2-Winter is here and dogs feel cold too.I'd rather be a mum to a pup than a human baby,if that doesn't explain enough then what does?
Thought3-I have never been more disgusted with myself than I am now.I have always prided myself on the fact that I'm simple.Ask me whats wrong,and in less than 6 hours I will tell you.When I'm crying,tell me to stop,and I will.I have no layers to speak of and no complexity what so ever.I have never been in the habit to think so much as to manipulate the feelings of the people I speak to or the situation around me.If its straightforward,then its my domain,but anything thats not I haven't put in the effort to understand.And also,I'm too mindful of things that don't matter any more.Just the two things that irk me no end now!
Its like playing badminton.And I know my flaws.I aim at hitting only,the placing could be better(no manipulation or strategy).I don't recover from the joy or dissapointment of the last shot(great shot and lousy shot respectively) fast enough,so miss the next shot entirely.(too mindful..).grr
Anyway,yesterday definitely deserves a mention,so here goes
11:45 hours,4 Nov-Got a rug from the bedroom to spend the night on the sofa.Super excited about attending phone calls from friends wishing me my birthday and also wondering who'd call first!
23:50-No calls!What the hell!
23:55-First call!Yay!(Gargi)
25:56-Phone rings,not my phone but the landline!Security guard asking me if he should send the people up who've come for the birthday! WTF!OH MAN!WOOOHOO!
00:00-6 people turn up at my doorstep-Rohit,Etika,Yash,Saurabh,Aastha and Sridhar!!woowy!Will never forget this birthday!Special thanks to Rohit,my best friend! :)Your the best!Oh did I say that already? :PKept jumping up and down in glee.Hugged them all and spent 20 minutes trying to avoid getting smothered with cake and pastry,but in vain :((spent the next 20 minutes cleaning up the floor,the furniture,my face,the curtain and the table!)
12:04-First call :)
Spent the rest of the day with friends and attending a few more calls,and in the night spent a blissful ten minutes remembering the 20 minutes described above and then at exactly 11:45,as the day was finally coming to an end,something dawned on me,but that too is for another post.
Thank you for reading this post till the end,I know its long.

I want a dog!

2009-10-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

There is a spaniel(black) in my society and he is such a sweet thing!He is always super excited!When his owner brings him downstairs he is in a tearing hurry to run a few circles in the grass panting and barking wildly.And when he meets me,he bumps into my leg after running every circle and its just so adorable!he thinks nothing of bumping headlong but just runs with all four of his tiny legs slipping and flopping in all directions in his hurry to crash break! :)

Then there is a stray dog who thinks the society is his responsibility and thou shall be barked at if you don't live here.He doesn't like to be petted too much for the dogs outside the gates might think that he's crossed over to our side,but when ever I go down for a walk,he comes and trots beside me every once in a while and occasionally allows me to pat him,cute lal singh!(thats what the guards call him:))

And Ginny,the Labrador,finally recognizes me!She is a little fat,so she cant jump,but if she could, she'd easily be able to place her paws on my shoulders.But,she is a shy thing,she bends low and wags her tail 19 to the dozen and mostly loves to lay flat on the grass.
A few more dogs,but they don't trust me yet,maybe socializing with their owners might help.
SOB.I want one of my own!
I WANT A DOG!
I will carry it to my grave that my parents din't get me one.Sob.

Bonkers

2009-10-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

I am going bonkers!

I sat down and was IN the mood for something that could crack me up and voila! I could recall all the PJs my junior cracked some days back and since then I've been grinning and bursting into laughter every now and then.

I'll recount some of them here,and please refrain from inflicting physical pain on yourself or on people around you and cursing Neelesh of course :D

1.Yash and the Neelesh had to go back the way they came,that is retrace their path.Neelesh says-'Ab ye mat bolna tere pas tracing paper nahi hain'

2.Since he dint want to get tanned,X dint want to go out,Neelesh says-'then stop doing math,its got nothing to do with the sun !'

3.Why is 9 afraid of 7?....................... 7 8 9!

4.There were 3 eggs,the snake ate only 2 of them,why dint it eat the third?
'cause the third one was plastic!

5.There were three eggs ,the snake ate none of them,why is that?
'cause it was a plastic snake :D:D:D:D,say what you will,and maybe my sense of humour has gone to the dogs,but what the heck,the kid in me is totally grooving it!:D

I'm in the mood for a whacky tag too,so here goes-

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4...
For example ,in LM201/101/301 the 1 denotes a military temperature range device.....
(I wanted to get an interesting book,damn it...@#$#%)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air?
Lol,yup,and my Mom's hair :D

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Seventh Heaven-star world

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
6:48

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
6:48
(Halo over head)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Pages being turned,my typing,kids playing,slippers.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
lOl,the grand inquisition.Stepped outside an hour ago to buy something.(hehehe)

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?
Someone's blog.

9. What are you wearing?
heheheheheheh,this is so hilarious!The Lara croft outfit,fits me like second skin :D

10. When did you last laugh?
Ajeeb aadmi hain!

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A tiger and its cub(painting)

12. Seen anything weird lately?
Nope nope nope nope,but would love to!

14. What is the last film you saw?
Over my dead body.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Put a stop to people's tendency to judge others.

18. Do you like to Dance?
Yeah!I like to move it move it ...you like too?

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Of course I would.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Did I not promise you that you'll come here? :)Welcome child.

I tag- Every one reading this,come on you know you want to :))

no noise!

2009-10-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

I want to get all dressed up,preferably in a saree and go downstairs and take some pics,but no ones granting my wish!Its my first sombre diwali and I don't like it.

Anway,Happy Diwali to everyone!

Embrace your awesomeness!

2009-10-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

:)
Its so obvious I'm happy!I'm constantly scared I'm smiling or laughing too often and slipping into worlds far and all mine far too often.
Anyway,*drum roll*-Top five moments of the day:

1.When songs like "khamaj" and the kinds were sung on the stage!Like everyone,I associate every song with a person or a mood,so while I was listening to this song I was living one of those moments when I don't remember who was beside me or what was being said to me and if you'd asked me if I was happy then,I would have nodded hard and gladly.I have no use for words today,and don't I just love feeling rendered-speechless-in-happiness!

2.I saw so many smiles today!Spent a few incredible moments witnessing broad grins,smiles and high fives.

3.In our orientation programme this evening,rohit(drums) and yash(guitar) performed for their band and both of them rocked!woohoo!Way to go guys!:)Made my week you two!!! :)

3.Had a good time in class and for once even though I'd slept really late,I was wide awake and sitting upright :) I have good classmates and any previous mention of wavelengths mismatch can be ignored.And also,I had a good time checking out jhataak sarees my lady teachers wore for Karwa chaut ..:)

4.A thought struck me today!When I become a teacher I'm going to have one GOOFY day!Wear a very whacky outfit,ask students to relate their embrassing moments,blow bubbles and fly rockets...! :D.the idea appeals to me so much!

5.I simply adore a few telegu and tamil songs I have grown up on.They cannot be replaced or forgotten!I found them on youtube!yay! :)

Carpe Diem!

ps:Save your breath,I know my count is wrong.
p.p.s:I heard the line somewhere,and it wont come off my head!"embrace your awesomeness!" :P

Exams

2009-09-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

This is my exam schedule:

24-09-2009
10:30-11:30-POC(principles of communication)
2:30-3:30 -AWP(Antenna and wave propagation)

25-09-2009
10:30-11:30-Microprocesors
2:30-3:30 -AIC(analog integrated circuits)

26-09-2009
10:30-11:30-ACS(Control systems)

I'm as clueless in the above subjects as you are :D
Wish me the best!
Signing off till the 26th...
cheers

Just another day

2009-09-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I feel guilty sitting on a rickshaw.The poor guy struggles to gain momentum after stopping at the speed breaker.What do I do oh God?! The kid looks like he hasn't had food for years,the pup is scouring for food in a garbage bin,why is life so cruel to them?I want answers!Why so wretched?
I know that at this very moment,someone is racking their brains,desperately thinking of the last straw to clutch at as everything is spiraling downhill faster than light,someone who has just heard news of their close one falling victim to cancer,someone in pain,someone who doesn't have the courage to face life anymore and someone who has lost faith.And I also know that at any given point of time,the number of happy people in this world can never outweigh the sad ones.It's impossible.Then what makes us want to live knowing that we might be that someone ,someday?.We can only take so much and there is pain and suffering at every corner of the walk.Every pain can be endured is bullshit!

I hear the skies have witnessed everything since the conception of earth and even before-every war,every love story,every shout of laughter,and every idea.Do they actually think that when they part their clouds to allow the sun to shine,that there will come a day when everyone everywhere down there will look up and smile?Have they ever bloody witnessed that?I know the answer to that!
But can't there be just one day like that?happiness everywhere!(Hope?!dammit!)

Please let there be joy!
For people who're living lives they should be grateful for,every nano second,like me and every one reading this,smile all the time,you never know who you're cheering up,hum what comes to your mind,you never know!the person beside you might be thinking of the same song,LIVE the moment!

Think of thick colors flowing out of you.Dark blood Red for anger,Black-for negative thoughts,Grey for fear,and of course,all beautiful soft,and bright colors,like lavender,orange,baby blue etc for happiness and good thoughts and hope.You know what colour you want don't you?
Let me see colour!
Carpe Diem!
ps:I never promised proper flow of thought :P

You know its not your day....(part1)

2009-09-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

When....

1.Someone you really want to talk to won't pick up the phone.And when they call back,you can't pick it up or are just too bummed to,by then.

2.The lift makes you wait for so long that you're digging your nails into your palm since everyone at every goddamn floor has pressed the button!
Note-The lift is so programmed that it registers where you want to go,not where you want it to come.So lets say,you're on the 5th floor and the lift is at the first,you press down,not up if you want to go down.I know most people know this.Come on!

3.You're watching Travel and Living and realize what you've been told already!Its a SINFUL channel!Some one ban it! They show Pizza paradises and Great hotels and Nigella feasts!show mercy for God's sake!

4.You picture the meal waiting for you,feeling and recalling every tiny explosion of taste you've felt for that one mouth watering favorite meal,every numbing ecstasy you've shared and felt for it,and it turns out that Mum din't have her best day at the kitchen today.Sob.Not her fault,no one's.

5.You're irritated beyond your wits at anything and everything.In the Rediff Ad,why does he drown the singing duck?Wouldn't anyone's first reaction be jumping and scrambling the heck out of the tub?Like drowning it will end the freak show!

I could go on,but people have formed an image of me pulling my hair out and biting the heads off of my folks at home and basically loosing every shred of sanity,but I assure you,I'm calm and peaceful,for the most atleast.:P

Ps:For people who've had puddle water baths beside the road,and the birds blessing them,you have my sympathies,but you know,the day begins to look up after that.
Its when nothing can cheer you up,no one,no song,no meal,no smile and no blog post that you're having a bad day.Every one's had them,damned dementors swarming the place!

On a november evening

2009-09-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

How odd memories are...
Saw him,sitting beside the road,shoulders slumped,
misery and guilt and every tormenting pang searing his face
prodding the creature gently,
that lay dead with little wings that wont feel the wind anymore.
but the pain was somebody Else's,wasn't it?
Its the bird's fault.damn it

Every bitter fight ended
and attempts to hate frustrated.
But did you ask me why I acted irrationally?
I'm sorry

I remember fondly every shrug,every roaring laugh
every song you like,every meal that gladdened your being
but also,sadly
every thing that reminds you of your struggle
and every hapless look
But again,the pain was somebody Else's.

You are my safety net,you are my support
the world can harm me,my friends may forsake or despise me
But I have you,you're the best,my strength and my dearest
What I'm trying to say is,while you're strumming the guitar
while you're sleeping,while you love your soulmate
while you live your life and make smiles around you
I love you
your little sister,peedai.
'Oh what peace we often forfeit,oh what needless pain we bear...'

There is my,oh my,there is my,little girl!

2009-08-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd bump in a misleading title to my post too :)

I love slapstick humour! :D.Throw in a banana peel,or a cat(not a dog mind you!)on slippery ice,I'll be in fits!:D
Tried walking steady on slippery floor today :D,managed to slip and fall thrice,:D.weee

And I saw this little kid pulling up the hem of his karate suit,belt pulled up tight ,way above his waist,face screwed up in attention and concentration as he is awaiting the next move from his master,to copy,which(!)to his dismay,happens to be a thrust-legs-in opposite-direction and a full 180 sit.And PLONK,LOL!he fell plonk on the grass,and yeah it was I,the obnoxious moron who was doubled up and slapping the wall shaking with laughter!:D it was so funny!
And a I saw a rainbow today! :)
Feel like a kid today,and in all probability I'll delete this post once I'm sober,but for now,my fingers know no restraint!:)
Feel like tugging a monkey's cheek,ruffling a lion's mane,petting an ant eater,and playing football with a baby elephant,among other things...what other things do you dare to ask?LOL
Cheers!

PS:What is with the DIL TITILI ad?!his heart is fickle as a butterfly?great point!
PPS:I have a feeling I should never be let loose in a jungle when I'm feeling like this....nai?

Wish you were there....

2009-08-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is exactly what I felt like after I read this-"Depression may be linked to how willing someone is to give up his goals"
And he goes on to say-"there is likely to be an evolved mechanism(in our grey matter) that identifies certain goals as unattainable and inhibits their pursuit—and he believes that low mood/depression is at least part of that mechanism"

In simple words he explains that young adults whose 'goal/dream adjustment capacities' aren't all that great and in fact,like the proverbial bull ,they keep pursuing and persisting instead of giving up and re-engaging with practical and newer goals have a high chance of suffering from clinical depression in future.He adds "Mild depressive symptoms can therefore be seen as a natural part of dealing with failure in young adulthood....Dr Nesse believes that persistence is a reason for the exceptional level of clinical depression in America"
Now,to Cincinnati with the health matter,what I'm concerned about are the questions the writer has raised!grrrr
Have I set myself unattainable goals?
Am I overestimating my capability?
Am I the typical 'young adult' whose dreams are unattainable and impractical?
Are my mood swings a part of the mechanism and a part of the 'phase' everyone goes through?Cant I be the one who persists and then shouts herself hoarse claiming from roof tops that it was nothing short of flying wings-free,but I did it,I STILL did it?!!!
sigh....or are my brains and harmones going to conspire against me and inhibit my going any further by pushing me into engulfing depression?

Oh why did I have to read it?Why cant somethings be left unsaid?why do they have to dissect every emotion?why do they have to assault our comfort spheres?:(

Sob,I am NOT willing to give my dreams up,no way!

Lets bing..

2009-08-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

All is fair.Instead of back slapping and air punching anymore,google should be seen doing some hand wringing and brow creasing,'cause BING is definitely more friendly and better,well,structurally atleast(no clicking on 'o's,just scroll down)says,I.I'm not sure if its their fault,or their algorithm's,or people gone whacky's and tagging whackily,but for 'petting a dog' google returns this among others,where as bing did pretty good,so there,the setting is laid for switching loyalties.

Since I don't feel like writing a thing ,lets try images.I binged them all(:D)
This is where I want to live..somewhere behind the trees is my cottage(it'll look just like the flat I designed,from inside)

They are what I'm going to be petting and cuddling:Mischief(monkey) and Obelix(dog)
And thats where I'll be sleeping and thats what I'm going to be eating while reading.:)

If nothing,I'll try sleeping and dream the ~~impossible~~.

Copy pasting some funny ones.

2009-08-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

1."A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."-H.L.MENCKEN
(hehe,so true!quotes on cynics and pessimists are the best!'better be a pessimist,you'll either be proven right or be pleasantly surprised!'I know you're going to tell this to your friends soon :P)

2."A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."-SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL
(lol,woohoo,nail on the head anyone?)

3."Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.-ED GARDNER
(giggle)

4."I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."-WOODY ALLEN
:D

5."Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."-LAURENCE J.PETER
(keep that in mind,hmph)

And then it begins again

2009-08-09T04:50:00.000-07:00

College starts from tomorrow.

I don't want to go of course,and I get 'enjoy the 2 years left of it' from people who have passed out,why?

Apart from some obvious reasons and the disinclination to start studying again after 2 months of lazing around,reading books,blogs,sleeping till noon,watching greys anatomy online,listening to music 24x7,texting and talking over the phone till wee hours-

I don't want to sit in my bench beside someone whose wavelength hardly matches mine,am AM if their FM,and I'm arrogant if they are down to earth(!),and I'm drumming my fingers on the desk while they are listening to the lecture(!!) and they give me a sidelong glance,hold on,heyy!I have my ways of paying attention,and its different from yours obviously, you nodder!and there is no bridging the gulf between people whose sense of humours don't match...

Yeah,there is the lunch break when I meet up with my friends,and that precious time has been chopped down too.And I like very few lecturers, and I love working for them and their subject,but the rest(the majority),don't like me too much,there too its mutual.

People judge me,look down on me 'cause nothing in their list of 'concerns' can ever crease my brow,but I have my own thoughts and worries,let me be.Maybe I'm thinking too much,and no,you don't get to tell me that!pfft

I'm going to crib,its my blog after all!

1.My word web has expired,wth!

2.People use sign language around me and don't come to the point.

Get that,there,right there *points finger at the shelf*,you knoww, get that nandu,fast!(right,get me a screw driver,I'll unpluck the shelf and hand it over).

"You should go there sometime,its a nice place,very cheap and excellent ambiance,arre its awesome,tu gayi hai kya?"*waving and flailing arms behind him* (you do realise I'm this close to running my vehicle over you,don't you?).

"I love it,its so awesome!"*claps hands*Love what ? "yaar main bata nahi sakti,its so awesome,yaar" hmmm.

3.My scooty has a flat tire,so its a bumpy rickshaw ride tomorrow.

4.I'm pissed,my mood is pissed,and I feel like throwing every piece of crockery and then grunting and jumping up and around it.

My goals this term:

1.** percentage

2.6 months-at least 24 posts,and no deleting.

3.Decide and work on my long term goals.

4.Not celebrate my B'day.Stay at home and have a long peaceful shower.

5.Manage time,yes,please,I'm begging you nandu.

Cheers

nandu

Tag

2009-07-30T04:43:00.000-07:00

Sid 's tag continued.
A – Available/Single? - Like everyone doesn't know!
B – Best friend? - Isha
C – Cake or Pie? - Cake
D – Drink of choice? - Tang
E – Essential item you use every day? - phone
F – Favorite colour? - Black
G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? - None.
H – Hometown? - Hyderabad
I – Indulgence? - Nutella
J – January or February? - Febuary
K – Kids & their names? - The only one I thought of everyone said sounded like a porn star's.
L – Life is incomplete without? - Music
M – Marriage date? - Not getting married.
N – Number of siblings? - 1
O – Oranges or Apples? - Orange
P – Phobias/Fears? - Reptile family
Q – Quote for today? - "We all think we are going to be great"
R – Reason to smile? - Oh some thing I'm thinking about
S – Season? - Rainy
T – Tag 3 People? - Kritz,aastha and ajitesh
U – Unknown fact about me? - Nothing so grand about things that are still unkown.
V – Vegetables you don't like? - Bitter gourd
W – Worst habit? - Procrastination
X – X-rays you've had? - none
Z – Zodiac sign? - Scorpio

One day at a time

2009-07-16T06:05:00.000-07:00

I hate to be the last one to hit the sack nowadays and the reason is scary.I go to bed at half past three and for a large chunk of the night wonder if I've switched off the gas connection,closed all doors,switched off everything that can explode and kept away everything that can grow fungus overnight(milk,food) and so on.Every second I'm half expecting my bedroom door to pluck away from its hinges and come blasting into the room and fall over my family and if that's not scary enough,yesterday,as I was almost nodding off to sleep,fatigued after all the anxiety,I heard a shout followed by a stinging scold enquiring after why I'm always over the cellphone!I was listening to music to induce slumber and block thoughts,but something as innocent as that is not expected,is it?!Woke up depressed and unwilling to face sunshine or anyone.baah.I'm stressed,I worry.
As a friend put it today,I have a 1000 tracks in my mind and before I'm finished with one,I'm distracted and already running on different one/ones.So even when I'm happy ,there are gnawing tracks that remind me that the results are around the corner,my feet look awful,yada yada.I am stressed,I worry.
*************************************************************************************
Why be a hypocrite?The rain,if you can call it that,is just silly in Delhi.Unless every inch of fabric on the body gets soaked when you go out to get drenched,no rain!Imagine me going out to get fully drenched-I'm waiting for the drizzle to pick up,and after I catch a few kittens and pups,I'm still waiting,and just when I think that its picked up,it STOPS!all of a sudden!and all this in a span of five minutes.So I'm back inside,disgruntled.After a change of clothes I decide to crib on twitter and SUPER!its raining again.Baah.
**************************************************************************************
What is it with people who drive recklessly anyway?
1.They want to die.
2.They want to kill.
3.They want to die and kill.
4.They think they are in a hurry!
I don't want to cover the 'want to be cool' option,'cause each of the above are disgustingly pathetic already and I have my limits of 'understanding'.
*************************************************************************************

Awesome trip!

2009-07-02T06:02:00.000-07:00

I still miss my cousins,and I don't like Delhi anymore ,hate being back!Banglore is super cool,especially its weather!sheesh :(
The pics say it all,had more fun than I can explain,sang on the top of my voice in the car(I dont want to miss a thing and the likes),saw breathtaking sights,played card castle and donkey and loved every femto second of my time with cousins.And after some thought,I hereby conclude-family is more fun than friends :)
Tina akka,Pradeep anna,tinsu,chan and niks,love you folks!had super fun!next year the Andamans baby!
ps:For details about the trip,in case you want to go to Conoor and stay at the tea plantation house we stayed in(in pics,the green roofed house),please feel free to contact me :P

2009-07-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

2009-07-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

can't do much,picasa uploads 4 at a time.

2009-07-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

yeah baby!

2009-07-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

Conoor trip!

2009-07-02T05:33:00.000-07:00

more later!

To jerry.

2009-06-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

R.I.P jerry

Not my pet,but loved him to pieces like my own,the owner(should say Mother)was our family friend,Lodge aunty.I'm terribly sorry Aunty,we'll grieve for the loss of your son too :(,you cared for him soo much,and I'll be forever indebted to you for the all times you entrusted him in my care,adorable loving jerry :(:(

The last few months,jerry wouldn't leave aunty's side.I've never seen anything like it before!they were inseperable!and as soon as aunty would come back home after an outing he would wag not just his tail(with his ears flat ),but his entire body!
Even back in Kerala,she would talk and jerry's ears would stand up and he would look at her in the eye like he understood everything and if he got impatient(aunty would know that immediately) aunty would say 'mamma le chal rahi hain gummi(gumne)beta',and that moment there,you'd feel a little uncomfortable 'cause there was so much love passing between the two that you'd feel like an intruder to the moment.After that,I can't tell you how much I wanted to have a dog that I could loved to bits and he loved me equally aunty.He lived a grand life with you and Angel di and Honey di and uncle.
But today I give up,I don't want to own a dog or a monkey,I can do without this grief.
You were the most endearing,loving,adorable pom ,love you Jerry.
yours forever.
nandu.

Light and sound show

2009-06-23T14:26:00.000-07:00

Its 2:59 AM,and I have a big day tomorrow!My best friend is coming to Delhi for just a little more than a day and I'm going to try and get her to meet all my close friends here and catch a couple of movies,and also talk,all in 24 hours :).But before I crash,I have to share this experience:The light and sound show in Red fort!
If you went for the show in the evening,i.e before nightfall,hold it,hold it,ARE you out of your mind?!Its the LIGHT and sound show!
The light effect is grand!I'm not a patriot,and I don't find anything spectacular about forts,ancient ruins,pillars built centuries ago,the history of our nation,and so on,of course I find patriotism in others very admirable,I even envy it because I don't have it,and I want a want to be patriotic.But the fort is anything but ordinary in those lights!
You have a cute spectator's gallery and it affords you an almost 360 degree view into the fort's garden.They have speakers planted everywhere hiding among trees,and of course lights too.They illuminate the place in the arena where they want you to look and have speakers working right there,so you get the feeling of two people actually conversing there,and they probably did,centuries back!(how kewl is that?!).They take you through history starting from ShahJahan's rule,to his son Aurangzeb's ,and then moving on to how the Mughal dynasty was overthrown following the reckless rule of emperor's who superseded him,and got invaded by every newcomer,and in the subsequent years how our nation passed onto the hands of the British and how India fought for its independence.
They actually have original tapes playing the voices of Mahatma Gandhi,Jawahar Lal,and a few other prominent freedom fighters.Awesome!!!
Guess how they ended the show?With the national Anthem of course :) !even foreigners stood up for that :)
ps:A plane was flying above in the sky during the show,and I was in the fort witnessing history(more or less,hehe),it seemed so surreal,we have come a long long way!surreal!!
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Guess what people?!Yesterday I was taught the basics of a matrix keypad,the one you have on your cellphones and I surfed the net before blogging(racked my brain and gave up,the only consolation is that I got the circuit right)and found the programme for it,and I understand it,so tomorrow I'll be building it,hallelujah!!so any problem with your keypad,you'll let me know ,wont you? :)

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Goodnight!,3:30 AM.

Rara venu days

2009-06-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

I feel a tinge of disappointment that my parents dint record my childhood,and even in the few pics of me,I look awkward and weird.
This song fills me with a longing to learn one of the five languages I claim to know,arduously and properly.Forget English,I'm not doing too bad there(zip it Nikhil),even Hindi,apart from getting the gender wrong sometimes(how are to you to classify whats male and female??!! look under it?!though I'm fond of it,my national language is maddeningly complex sometimes).Its the other three I'm talking about-Tamil,Malayalam and Telugu.Of the three,I'm most fluent in Telugu.I conversed in it with my school friends in Andhra Pradesh.
Gosh I miss my place,every once in while when I visit Andhra Bhawan in C.P,I love to see my land people,simply love to hear them speak,see them eat,see them walk and as you probably comprehend,everything about them makes me ever so fond of them,and I'm pretty sure they notice my stare,but who cares?and anyway one word of Telugu from my mouth and they'll be looking at me like I'm their daughter :).
However I can't read or write Telugu,I can still talk in it because my parents share that and English in common,so they talk to each other in the either of the two.See how complex it gets?My mom is a tamilian and Dad is a malayali.Long back,Dad was posted in kerela,where I had Malayalam as a compulsory language.So I could read,write and speak in Malayalam until some 8 years ago but now I can only speak it,and even then I don't understand half of what the news reader is saying and the same goes for tamil,my mother tongue.
What I'll do is learn Telugu/Tamil properly(Malayalam is out of the race,it feels like a coarse language to me somehow)and also go back to classical dancing.I hated the costumes then,now they look beautiful to me and this time coming,I'll tell dad to record :)
My advice to kids:Your parents might push you to join many clubs,join them and have as much fun as you can.The piano,the dancing,the singing,etc lessons bring back so many fond memories,my Rara venu days were the best :),thanks Mum :)

For the R.Js

2009-06-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

Just when I was brooding over the feeling of not feeling like I've had the best of the season,I sank my teeth into a seedless lichi! :),the bliss is pure and simple,its kind of like the same when wild squirrels trust you enough to eat crumbs right out of your hand,that's amazing too(the trick lies in holding very still,hold your breath if necessary :) )

The reason why I'm writing this post is because I'm irritated with Radio jockeys.
Coffee for some,music for me.I am not a morning person and can respond civilly only after I've heard some music,any music infact,even my assembly song will do.Off late, the only way I can fit music into my very tight morning schedule is to take it to my bath and shower while listening to it.No one lets me take the CD player in,so I make do with the radio player.The only problem is that I can't step out of the cubicle and keep changing the station if the talk starts.So here is my sob story:
1.Very evidently they are grouchy too,but nevertheless, they fake such an artificial cheery oh-never-been-a-better-morning-you-sleepy-heads ,and oh,get up and sing with the birds and flowers and crap,why not be irritable and normal?!I can easily get over the blues of getting up if I knew there was someone else feeling equally morose and pissed.
2.Did you notice the condescending tone?whenever anyone calls,they use it,I wonder what exactly makes them use it..
3.Why can't they talk slowly and more importantly talk less?is there a number of words per minute they have to clear?I'll be fair,maybe I'm used to doing all the talking,and not listening,but that doesn't explain all my irritation people.
4.All the English R.Js ,no offense,but the accent slips after every few words,and you get caught,so chuck it,nothing like a good sensible desi accent.

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I signed my first check today and feel big and important :)apart from driving ,this is my first 'major' act.Feels good.
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I can't wait to get to B'lore!For one,I'm meeting Sid,and the next,the pic is the guesthouse where I'll be staying for two days with my cousins people!!
Water falls and and tea plantation nearby,who would have THUNK it!
As they say,Carpe Diem!